I will be 39 on January 7th. WOW! I feel extremely fortunate to be alive and living life. I have been truly blessed and I thank God for life.
Today has been kinda hard. I feel lonely and unaccomplished. I need to shake this feeling. I'm currently going through a divorce and I find myself in a positon of starting over at the age of 38.
I find myself missing the family unit I was a part of. I tell myself I could have been such a better father and husband. Why did I act the way that I did. I miss seeing my kids everyday. I miss having a wife.
I've been following this dream of being a legitamite hip hop artist for a while now and I can feel the prize right in front of me, but sometimes I feel like my family was sacrificed because of it. I feel like I'm getting to old for this. If I listened to outsiders I would have given up a long time ago
What allows me to stay positive is knowing that God has a plan for me and I have the victory already. Sometimes....sometimes...man.....it gets so hard. So I stay in the word. I keep the affirmations coming, because I am a creator linked directly to the source GOD.
The word is power. This is the reason I am writing this. I was speaking with a friend who posted some extremely personal information about herself online. I mentioned how she was very brave to do that, and how I would be hesitant to open up like that. She said she did it because many people may have experienced what she had and it would help others.
So I am here to say to ALL OF YOU if you feel discouraged, sad, defeated, depresssed that it is only temporary. DON'T GIVE UP!!! DON'T GIVE UP!!! DON'T GIVE UP!!!
Stay Focused, Positive and Productive
Habakkuk 2:3 (New International Version)
3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it[a] will certainly come
and will not delay
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